The holiday season can feel like an emotional minefield for many, but especially for those living with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). While festive songs and glittering lights fill the world with cheer for some, they can feel overwhelming or even suffocating for others. If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. Many people with C-PTSD find that Christmas intensifies their symptoms, bringing old wounds to the surface.
C-PTSD and Interpersonal Relationships
Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder that develops from prolonged or repeated trauma, that are difficult or impossible to escape. And often in personal relationships or situations where there is an imbalance of power, such as childhood abuse or neglect. Unlike PTSD, which may stem from a single traumatic event.
Even if your relationships or situations have evolved, the settings the holiday season brings can resurface old wounds, making Christmas an especially sensitive time.
Why Christmas Can Trigger C-PTSD
Family Gatherings and Relational Trauma
For many with C-PTSD, family gatherings are fraught with tension. Being around individuals who contributed to, or ignored, your trauma can be profoundly triggering. Even if your family relationships are healthier now, the holidays may evoke memories of childhood neglect, abuse, or emotional pain.
Holidays Amplify Perfectionism
The pressure to create a “perfect” Christmas. Hosting, cooking, decorating, and gift-giving - can trigger feelings of inadequacy. For those whose trauma includes people-pleasing or hyper-responsibility, this pressure can feel relentless.
Sensory Overload
The holidays are loud and bright. Filled with bustling crowds, constant music, and flashing lights. These are sensory triggers that can overstimulate your nervous system, leaving you feeling on edge and ungrounded.
Memory Associations
Holidays are steeped in nostalgia. Specific smells, sounds, or traditions may unearth difficult memories, creating flashbacks or a deep sense of grief for what was lost - or never had.
Uncertainty and Loss of Routine
The unpredictability of the season - altered schedules, disrupted routines, and unstructured downtime, can heighten feelings of anxiety, especially for those who find safety in routine.
Loneliness and Emotional Isolation
Whether you’re physically alone or feeling emotionally disconnected from loved ones, the holidays can amplify feelings of isolation. And you are not alone, in fact one in four feels lonely at Christmas. Seeing others celebrate joyfully can feel like a reminder of what you feel is missing.
Strategies to Cope During the Holidays
Make a Safety Plan in Advance
Planning can help you navigate triggers with confidence. Consider:
Identifying your triggers and brainstorming ways to manage them.
Creating a grounding kit (e.g., stress balls, calming scents, or comforting photos).
Establishing who you can call or text when you need support.
Reframe the Holiday Narrative
The holidays don’t have to be picture-perfect. Instead of adhering to traditional expectations, focus on creating a version of the season that feels safe and meaningful to you. For example:
Skip family events that feel overwhelming and host a small, cozy gathering with trusted friends.
Create new traditions, like a quiet evening with a favorite movie or a winter walk.
Take Breaks to Regulate Your Nervous System
If you feel overwhelmed during a gathering or event, give yourself permission to step away. Techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise, deep belly breathing, or a quick walk can help regulate your nervous system.
Allow Yourself to Feel
It’s okay to experience a mix of emotions during the holidays. Joy and sadness, hope and grief—these emotions can coexist. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment and practice self-compassion.
Lean on Trusted Support Systems
Share your feelings with a friend, therapist, or support group. Having someone validate your experience can lighten the emotional load.
Set Realistic Boundaries
Establish limits that protect your energy and mental health. For example:
Politely decline invitations if they feel too overwhelming.
Keep holiday gatherings short and set a clear departure time.
Let loved ones know what topics are off-limits.
Focus on Small, Achievable Joys
Identify small moments that bring you peace or comfort, like sipping tea, watching fairy lights, or journaling by candlelight. These moments can help ground you and bring balance to an otherwise chaotic time.
You Deserve Peace This Christmas
Christmas can be a difficult time for those with C-PTSD, but it doesn’t have to define your experience. By honoring your needs, setting boundaries, and seeking support, it is possible to navigate the holiday season with a sense of control and self-compassion.
How to Recognize When You Need Extra Help
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, the holidays can feel unbearable. If you notice a sharp increase in symptoms like flashbacks, dissociation, or hypervigilance, it might be time to seek additional support. Therapy can provide a safe space to process your feelings and equip you with tools to manage them.
You Are Not Alone
C-PTSD during the holidays can feel isolating, but many others share this experience. By honouring your needs, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you can navigate the season with more ease.
Looking for Support?
As a therapist specialising in women’s mental health, I provide a safe space to explore these challenges. Together, we can work to reduce the burden of C-PTSD and foster healing.
Book a free discovery call today and take the first step toward a more peaceful holiday season.